Puppy love

At times we meet people, we talk, we laugh, and it all seems so perfect, like it was just meant to be. Just like you imagined, day in day out. Everyday, there's new adventure, new topic, new discussion, new song. You can't help but notice that you are happy, content, satisfied with how things are going. Times you question, is it right? And times you just don't want to think. This lovely feeling of waiting for those short sweet moments when you can talk, and then gladly wait for the day to end, so that you can talk a little more. Can't remember when I felt this way last, but it was sure sometime back in those school/initial college days. How sweet, innocent and beautiful. Waking up to a short and sweet message, everyday a little different, like an effort was made to make your day special, the wait for you to wake up, the constant reminders that you're pretty and you're loved. The effort to make you a part of every event of life, and most important to make you laugh. It's crazily endearing. Thank you!

A weekend out

Writing again, after a long time. Last weekend was good fun. Though it was nothing like I expected to be, it was in fact far better. At times, we plan things, and that might in a way ruin things, but the things that come as a surprise are far more interesting. Everything about the trip was amazing.

It all started on Saturday afternoon, it was hot, and there was no reservation. But, to my luck I land at the station, look at the charts and this man helps me figure out things, and soon I have a reserved seat in an AC coach. It couldn't get any better. Lovely cosy journey, I slept, clicked pictures, played with a lovely cute kid on the next seat, listened to some music, chatted up with the Ticket Inspector, who turned out to be a really friendly guy, and the journey was soon over. Once I landed on the station, well there's someone waiting for you, and off you go. The village scene was even more interesting. The moment you step out, a sudden burst of heat wave welcomes you, but if you can get over that and focus, there was so much to notice, observe and appreciate. There was this narrow road, which we had to cross in a car, and trust me there was hardly any space to walk, forget getting a car through, and I guess the person picking me up wasn't quite comfortable with my presence yet. So we start, casual talks and he badly trying to concentrate on the road, time and again we'd bump into people, they'd curse and abuse, and you could see the impatience growing on the guy's face. But, what I liked were the tiny shops, the colors people had on, the way they were crossing the road, as if nothing could happen to them, like there were no rules. Some shops happened to have some really great stuff I had never seen before, like one had something made of wood, which looked like corks on wine bottles, it had lots of them tied together to make something, which I couldn't make out then, but made a mental note to return when I have time, which again didn't happen, cos the trip was cut short later.

Once, we reach our destination, a quick drive around the place, by now the sun has set and you can appreciate the magic of lights. I tried to capture a few, but the restriction not to stop on the runway, didn't allow me to capture good ones. but, nevertheless, the scene is etched in my mind. I reach my room, and now it was time to explore everything around me. I had a good amount of time on me, as my friend was not going to turn up till late. Started with a nice refreshing shower and found a lovely opportunity to kill time in bathroom itself. Hehe... There was this tiny frog, I don't know about the species but this one are those glassy ones, which are all transparent and they jump some 6 ft high, it's fun playing around with them. Rested, had dinner, slept for a while and soon my friend turns up. We talked and kept talking for the whole night. It was fun. Very different from what I imagined it to be, but fun. I guess by now I should have known that this trip was not going to be anything like I thought it'd be. Soon it was time to leave, but, the best part, where I learnt the most was yet to begin.

So, all packed and ready as I board the train, this time there was no man to help me out, and I was there to enjoy the life of an everyday traveler. Initially I tried to get myself a seat and be comfortable, but soon I realized it was more fun this way, and so began the 6 hours ride to Bangalore, waiting, standing, talking, interacting, laughing, clicking pictures, meeting some really good, amazing people. There was so much that I learnt in a day, I could hardly believe it was all true. Everyone, from the old man, hanging on the door, to the lady merrily sitting on the passage, to the kids trying to find a little space to jump around, and not to forget the man who helped me out with everything and even offered me his seat. We Indians are just simply amazing, culturally, emotionally, the way we talk, share, and enjoy every moment of life. The trip that would have been extremely tedious given the heat and the crowd, felt like I was right among my friends. Thanks to the lovely cooperative and understanding crowd. Love you all.

Faces

It's funny how the faces that used to stir up emotions way beyond control, whether positive or negative, suddenly start getting washed away with time.

It starts with a distant blur, when things could still touch you, and gradually starts fading to a very vague blot, somewhere in the corner of your mind, cos new faces have started appearing and that blurred image of something that was there, starts dwindling in oblivion, darkness, where you can no longer spot the face. Even if it crosses you out in open, you notice, but can't decipher. Their presence or absence obviously doesn't matter. Well, time flies and I guess so do emotions.

Beautiful morning

Today morning was beautiful. Woke up fresh, looked at the time, and spotted a message, from a person least expected, a friend who's the kinds that you don't have to 'keep in touch' with, but whenever you meet him, things would be like they were last time, as if we just met yesterday. It's a relationship that does not require any 'maintenance' and it's always the same. And the miss you message with a warm hug, suddenly made the fresh morning oh so bright.

Sometimes these little phrases and gestures can make you feel so happy. And some people simply know how to make your day, they read your mind from a long distance, and it's so wonderful as all this comes without any obligations and expectations. It's just there, a simple straight warm feeling, that makes you feel loved. And I love this feeling. Thanks buddy...

Facebook - a new way to maintain relationships?

I logged onto facebook today, and the posts that I saw made me wonder. I know a few couples, no offense to them but I think their love is becoming a victim of facebook. Every post that one posted, the partner had to 'like' it, or have a mushy comment on it, to prove that they are together even if their status reads single. It's like a proclamation to the world, guys stay away this one's mine. Hehe... Like commenting and keeping a track of your partner's posts has become an important part of life. I can actually imagine people logged onto facebook and refreshing the page time and again to see if there's a new post, or reply to their post.

And some to my amazement were actually having a one to one conversation through the posts, which were public to all. I wonder, what do people do these days? Just simply wait for their respective partners to post something? Or their life simply revolves around each other? Where did the passions and having one's own time to oneself disappear? Am I too weird in not wanting this public disclosure, and wanting to do something of my own, having my time, my set of friends and my LIFE!

For my friends

My life an ocean,

High tides and low,

Stormy at times,

A turbulent flow,

And at times so quiet, surrendered at peace,

Praying to God, am down on my knees,

Silence before a storm, or silence of a complacent mind,

And not to forget the breezes,

Soothing calm, as my journey eases,

Sunny, clear skies, winged birds,

The dancing of life beneath,

Celebrating the mysteries, I beseech,

Love, laughter, tears and pain,

Would have all seemed dead ends,

Had you all not been my friends...

What I want to be...

Ever since I was a kid, or let's say for all of us when we were kids, we wanted to be something or other professionally, and it kept changing with age and situations.

For me it started with being a teacher, I must be in Grade I then. That time most of our teachers were females and I thought well that's what girls do when they grow up. Teach kids, come home, cook food, wait for their husbands and go for a walk in the evening. We were so naive and innocent. That it makes me laugh now. Then as I grew up I was exposed to various professions and I imagined myself in quite a lot of them.

Doctor, which died down with my first visit to the hospital and being injected with a Tetanus shot, I realized I was way too scared of them myself, forget injecting someone else.

Then, inspired by my mom I wanted to be a lawyer, I thought they win all the battles by talking. How amazing!

Later, I wanted to be an astronaut, inspired by Kalpana chawla, but soon I realized how much one has to study for that, and gave up. Hehe...
Then I thought what if I cannot get into space, maybe I can just fly. Well, situation was the villain here, cos the moment I dreamed of it, I got glasses. But, I did spend next few years dreaming that my boyfriend would be a pilot and we'll have that absolute romantic moment like in Pearl Harbour, when he takes his girl flying with him. Thanks to the movies for corrupting my dreams. Hehe...

The list is really long, and I can go on and on, but the point am trying to make here is that I never thought I'd end up doing engineering. I clearly remember repeating these lines to everyone in my school days, 'I'd not do what everyone does, I'll not go for medical or engineering', but ended up doing engineering and now have switched to Information design. And don't know if tomorrow I might just switch to something else. It's funny how life changes, situations change and you adapt, and move on, cos the ulterior motive and goal is something way beyond what I want to be... Something I am yet to figure out.

Cold Coffee

The most miraculous thing on a hot summer day, is a nice cup of frothy cold coffee. It has it's variants, simple cold coffee, cold coffee with ice cream, with extra chocolate sauce, with grated chocolate etc.

But, to me cold coffee has always been about memories. Memories which date back from childhood. I think my first encounter with cold coffee would be on one hot summer day, back after a rigorous swim, when my mom thought I was big enough to taste coffee, that I was offered a huge mug of this cold, refreshing, relaxant. And since then I've been a fan.

Then once in college, the definition of cold coffee changed to something that'd help you survive the lectures and of course offer an opportunity to huddle up with your friends in a group and talk about everything under the sun.

Once, I became a professional the same cold coffee meant those short meetings I could manage with my friends owing to our busy schedules, where once in a while we would catch up to know what was happening in each others lives. And not to forget the venues of the cold coffee joints had also changed. From home to college canteen to now the very famous cafes that claim to be the hottest hangout joints. Yes, you got it right, Cafe Coffee Day and Barista.

But, with each cup that I down, I know I am building yet another memory, somewhere, to be recollected later at some point of time and cherished. I know it would bring back a smile on my face, with the froth still lingering on my lips and wait till I lick it all off my lips.

Bangalore like never before II

Sometimes it's just great to meet old friends, leave everything aside and have fun. Yesterday was a good day. Began with a nice free ride all the way to M.G Road (well you can understand how nice it was, only if you know in which corner of the city I live). Well, ya and from then I was on a roll. Met up with an old friend, he's cute, sweet, baby like someone who'd inspire you to forget things and have fun. And so it began, we met people and more people, some by the end of the day became good friends and some I simply couldn't relate to. But, those with whom I could, it was a great welcome change. Conversations on a completely different tangent, all I remember is laughing, smiling and being happy inside.

Meeting people is certainly fun, and meeting those you can spend hours talking, simply amazing. Once, again I got a little taste of Bangalore city yesterday and trust me it ain't that bad. All you need is right people.

Inspiration

Some days are plain simple lazy, where you seem to be in control of everything, time, work, emotions, people, life in general. You have all the time to pamper yourself, yet you have time to meet people, socialize. Just be yourself, and not running around, to either meet the day's expectations, or running from something, intangible, like emotions and mental clutter.

These kind of days just feel so nice. They happen when you are at peace with yourself. When you have absolutely nothing to lose, or nothing to regret. For me, it happened today pretty unexpectedly. Suddenly, I had all the time to listen, think, love, care, dance, enjoy a lovely shower, clean up my room, and other mundane things. It was always a part of me, but it seemed lost somewhere, because so far I was just too messed up in my head. with this tension and that. From last two days I've been indulging. Indulging in everything that my heart wants. From sleep to ice creams to hugs to back to back movies. I wonder when I stopped living the way my heart wants to? And now that am living that life again, trust me life seems a lot better, happier, and worth it.

I would owe this to a poem written by a friend, when he wanted something and did something totally opposite, just because he couldn't see tears, he denied himself, what he really wanted and eventually regretted it. Sometimes we do learn from others mistakes. Don't know if I have the freedom to share the poem here, but I can share the lines that touched me the most.

You are not sad, cos you made someone happy,
but happy YOU are not,
life maybe a good bargain,
but it'll never be what you sought!

What your heart wants...

I feel majority of the times when we are suffering, is when we deny ourselves what our heart wants, instead of being denied what our heart wants by someone else. Most of the times, we are the culprit.
It could be due to societal pressure, or the fear of hurting someone, or personal bias and fears. But, I have always been a believer of what my heart wants, because I think, that if your heart is not into it, if it's there and yet wants something else, pines for it, or even for a brief second of time, thinks of something that it doesn't have, then that's what it wants. And denying it that, is a big crime. With all this, you'd never do justice to what you're up to, cos somewhere deep inside, it's not what you want.

Something similar happened to me, I took a decision, or rather obliged to a decision, cos at that time, all my heart ever wanted was other's happiness, my happiness was secondary. But, it's human to have feelings of your own, the heart keeps wanting something or the other. And yes, sooner I had expectations of my own, so much that my heart desired, and I had to keep denying myself. That robbed away all my happiness, you cannot concentrate anywhere, cos time and again your mind keeps running to those 'deep hidden inside the cover' thoughts and it bothers you.

Today, for a change I had the strength to listen to my heart, stop denying it what it wants, and went and openly hugged my friend. And those few seconds were bliss, I am not sure if the feeling was mutual, but yes, for a brief span I saw the smile that I've been looking for from days altogether. I don't know what's the harm in loving someone, caring for someone. I think it's one of the most beautiful feelings. And you know you got it, when a look of that person stirs your heart, when you make efforts to know what's up at the other end, when you make conscious efforts to be in sight or out of sight. You know you're in love, and denying yourself the pleasure. I'd say don't. Cos if you're doing it out of some fear, be it of results, repercussions, struggles, trust me you'd regret it at some point of time, and would never do justice to yourself.

So, if you have someone you really care for, do not think of the consequences, accept it, grab it, before it is too late.