In the world of Facebook and Whats app and all the social media available on the smart phones, the relationships couldn't get worse. Like a mobile phone was not evil enough that we had to find more reasons to cut ourselves from real conversations!
I am not a very social person. I hardly keep in touch. But, the days when I do remember someone, or call someone, I mean it with all my heart that I called because I was missing them. And it's not always a call. Sometimes I drop in a long mail or message or anything that comes to my mind to break that long silence.
Of lately not once or twice but thrice it happened that during one of these getting back in touch calls, people ended up asking 'You called for some work/help? Ya aise hi (Or Just like that)?' !
I was taken aback. I am not the kind of person who makes friends thinking how can they help me in future. Yes, I am at times selfish in the way I make friends and I guess I have been open about it earlier as well, I like people I feel I can learn something from. I like people who I feel inspired from or intimidated for some reason or the other. Because it gives me a challenge to get better. So, yes am not denying that I am selfish when it comes to picking friends, but it's never to use them or to get something done by them. I will try everything possible on my own before turning to someone for help. So, yes it felt bad. And then coincidentally I overheard a conversation my husband was having. And let me tell you he's a total opposite of me. He's very very very social. He loves to keep in touch. It's quite annoying but you will always find him glued to his phone. Often it would happen that you will keep talking to him and he will keep looking into his screen chatting away with others only reacting 10 minutes later, when you have lost all context of what you were talking about. So, the point am trying to establish here is that he's the kinds who's always in touch. And yet, in one of his catching up calls the person at the other end ended up asking, 'Yaar yeh sab chod bata kya kar sakte hai hum tere liye?( Hey, forget all this, tell me what can I help you with?)' A very subtle way of saying cut the crap and tell me what did you need me for that you had to CALL? And then it dawned on me, that the fault is not in me or my intentions, or in not keeping in touch or keeping in touch. It's the way the priority order of communication has changed.
For every small little thing you can tweet it away, for an elaborate status with fun filled pictures to be shared there's Facebook, for every second discussion there's Whats app and like, in absense of internet connectivity simply drop a message, for official work drop a mail, for shopping why step out when I can get it online? So when the phone rings, you are like 'pakka kuch kaam hoga (I am sure he/she needs something)' .
So, to confirm my theory I started observing the next few calls I got. And other than family each and every call was for some help/advise/work? I was shocked! The definition certainly has changed. And I am left wondering that should I change the way I get back in touch or should I just stick to the calls and be questioned every time and answer in negative and carry on with my catching up stories....
I am not a very social person. I hardly keep in touch. But, the days when I do remember someone, or call someone, I mean it with all my heart that I called because I was missing them. And it's not always a call. Sometimes I drop in a long mail or message or anything that comes to my mind to break that long silence.
Of lately not once or twice but thrice it happened that during one of these getting back in touch calls, people ended up asking 'You called for some work/help? Ya aise hi (Or Just like that)?' !
I was taken aback. I am not the kind of person who makes friends thinking how can they help me in future. Yes, I am at times selfish in the way I make friends and I guess I have been open about it earlier as well, I like people I feel I can learn something from. I like people who I feel inspired from or intimidated for some reason or the other. Because it gives me a challenge to get better. So, yes am not denying that I am selfish when it comes to picking friends, but it's never to use them or to get something done by them. I will try everything possible on my own before turning to someone for help. So, yes it felt bad. And then coincidentally I overheard a conversation my husband was having. And let me tell you he's a total opposite of me. He's very very very social. He loves to keep in touch. It's quite annoying but you will always find him glued to his phone. Often it would happen that you will keep talking to him and he will keep looking into his screen chatting away with others only reacting 10 minutes later, when you have lost all context of what you were talking about. So, the point am trying to establish here is that he's the kinds who's always in touch. And yet, in one of his catching up calls the person at the other end ended up asking, 'Yaar yeh sab chod bata kya kar sakte hai hum tere liye?( Hey, forget all this, tell me what can I help you with?)' A very subtle way of saying cut the crap and tell me what did you need me for that you had to CALL? And then it dawned on me, that the fault is not in me or my intentions, or in not keeping in touch or keeping in touch. It's the way the priority order of communication has changed.
For every small little thing you can tweet it away, for an elaborate status with fun filled pictures to be shared there's Facebook, for every second discussion there's Whats app and like, in absense of internet connectivity simply drop a message, for official work drop a mail, for shopping why step out when I can get it online? So when the phone rings, you are like 'pakka kuch kaam hoga (I am sure he/she needs something)' .
So, to confirm my theory I started observing the next few calls I got. And other than family each and every call was for some help/advise/work? I was shocked! The definition certainly has changed. And I am left wondering that should I change the way I get back in touch or should I just stick to the calls and be questioned every time and answer in negative and carry on with my catching up stories....
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