Is it love?

Well enough of me venting out my frustrations. Time to share some real stuff.

Is it love? Or oh God Am I in Love? Questions we ask ourselves many a times. At the ripe age of 24 we are all dying to fall in love and I mean literally fall into it, just simply dive whether you float and so called parachute of love lets you float for a while or you simply fall down with a thump with a broken bone or two and definitely a broken heart. But one’s still amazed by the speed with which the cells of that broken heart regenerate and start thumping for the next sweetheart you come across and believe me or not, at times every person you come across seems to be a genuine sweetheart. Reason being that he/she is just like you, failed to bag a ‘stable relationship’ when it was the right time and now is desperately looking for one before it is too late.

So you come across this person extremely hot, smart, lively, fun to be with (every time you meet you end up wrestling, pillow fighting, and boxing) and yes have the right pay package too. God! Everything’s going great, five to six dates down the lane and you think you couldn’t be more in love, and yes you’ve learnt all the do’s and don’ts from all your previous short lived relationships, with those so very much on your mind you slowly tread on the fragile, dainty path to make this dream come true.. Oh! Do I see you smiling? I know you’ve already dreamt how you want him to propose to you, how you want that cute little wedding to be, and pictures together on a romantic beach and not to forget one with a baby in your arms!!!
You’ve made many public appearances together at times a way too flashy to make all those ex’s jealous to the core, and yes just in case you find that one of them is still looking eyes wide open, you leave no stone unturned to make him notice you with your beau!

Suddenly you are beautiful, most lively person on this earth, keeping up till late not wanting to miss a single second of being awake to be with the so called soul mate, and yet next day wake up early for work, dress up the best you can just in case you bump into each other during office hours. Compliments here there everywhere, you are extremely good at your work because you seem to be the happiest person on this earth, with nothing to brood upon (oh god! Do I look that bad? Or why am I still single?).

You know all the recent happenings on this planet, you have literally photocopied the news on your daily, just in case we run out of topics to talk about I am empowered to open a new one in a jiffy, or show how concerned I am by quoting the statistics of people affected by a catastrophe and how the pictures made me cry, and how the hell could the media do this? And not to forget those wily politicians. Last but not the least sports, that works like magic, you know it won’t be a risk as most of them are an ardent fan of something or other and by this time you certainly know what it is, as time and again you’ve been pissed and tried real hard not to show when you see him paying more attention to that bloody game instead of you, but still there you were right next to him, getting him drinks and food, stroking his hair, and time and again asking questions trying to show how interested you are in this match where all you can see is some hot men sweating it out, hurting themselves but god only knows why???? I don’t say there are no exceptions to it at all, there can be women who love sports but never more than the attention they think they deserve, because they think it’d be better to go shopping or be flashing you as some booty they’ve bagged and are really proud of. And just in case there are men not interested in sports (I know am talking about a rare species), don’t worry he’d never accept it, being the man that he is. And then in that case you can always bet on porn!

All this and in a few weeks, moving on to months and maybe a year, you know this person like a well read book, page by page, para by para, or should I say word by word? There starts the dwindling of interests, suddenly others lives seem so very more interesting and fun. You find yourself with the most boring guy on this planet and you are the most unhappening couple! This is not what I was looking for! You scream and walk off! End of an extremely hilarious, lovey-dovey(I don’t remember when!) , expensive (oh like hell! What do I do with that Gucci dress I bought last weekend?) story!

Sad, heartbroken, lost you walk in next day, trying real hard to look bright and making efforts to brighten up your day, everything’s so gloomy till you see this shining face, in his crisp clean shirt, angelic smile and oh so cute! God! Why didn’t I notice him before??? And so begins the next story… With a hot steamy date in your very new Gucci dress!

But I must thank all the men in life so far, there’s no one I didn’t learn anything from. I would call these experiences my royal grooming. Once I came across this guy who loved poetry, and suddenly I was a poet, which thanks to him I still am, and I know am good at it, the only thing I don’t know is his whereabouts, if only I could thank him. There’s so much I’ve learnt and explored and it only helps me learn and explore further. Oh! Am I thankful to those men who came and left like a gentle breeze and to those who came in like a storm, romped my little fairy world, left me in tears and those I ruined to get over what I went through. And to those who are reading this, if you are one of them, am thanking you again, as its one of you who has inspired me to write the same.

The reason

I was never a blogger, as I held my privacy way too dear, but last 3 months my privacy has been exposed so openly that nothing seems my own anymore, and hence the decision to share.

Though the constant trespassing was irritating morning opened my eyes in such a way that I'll never forget.

At times you meet such liars and hypocrites in life who use you and abuse you beyond any limits and leave, clean of any sin, and in turn blame it all on you and shout back. I recently met such a guy, I regret every moment spent with him, for what I saw this morning as the whole table turned against me and he stood still grabbing on to his love as she hurled accusations at me, whereas all I wished was for them to be happy. Sometimes I feel its right, there's no justice for true human beings, people use them as toilet papers and flush them once they are done, having the cheek to ridicule them, when they are soiled by their own dirt. Little do they realize how much pain they are causing to others, and they easily climb up the ladder of success, nothing bad ever happens to them. I wish I could be one of them. But, guess I was brought up with such discipline and principles that doing wrong to someone just doesn't come naturally. You'd go to any extent for others happiness, even if it means sacrificing yours at times. Hoping someday it'd pay off. Am just waiting for that day...